Did I really leave my Heart In San Francisco?

I certainly hope not because Spain will become very jealous very quickly....

I know that I'm usually quick to jumping the gun, but seriously... Spain, Madrid especially, has been just awesome. Now, don't get me wrong, I've had several cultural clashes with the Madrileños.

First thing I noticed, is that if you catch people's eyes in public, they don't naturally smile back at you at all. At first, I was a little ruffled by this thinking that people just aren't friendly. Then I began to give it the benefit of the doubt. Suddenly, today, I realized it has to be a cultural thing. This is how I figured it out:

Usually, in America, if I'm having trouble with something in public, the first person I'd catch eyes with I'd approach for help. Since I'm usually stubborn and like to figure things out on my own, I've slowly come to realize I can't do that in a place I don't know at ALL. How am I to overcome this in a way I'm not used to? How do I reach out for help?

Simply go up to anyone and ask. Yes, it's that simple. You don't have to catch their eye here. They are they types that won't give help unless you speak up. They are very friendly and warm once you engage them, and they love to help foreigners as long as you don't appear to be a jackass. Also, don't be overly polite.

For instance "No Use Usted!!" is what I kept hearing. The use of "usted" has it's place like "sir" or "ma'am" in the States. It's purpose isn't to be overused either. I've come to learn that the initial address should be "usted", and then after that, it's typically okay to not use it anymore.

It's kind of like... politeness gets their attention, but once you break that ice, you kind of have a friend forever, or actually, for the duration of time you need their help. I got the feeling that being overly polite is almost insulting to Spaniards, if not seeming downright contemptuous. For instance, think of when you were pissed at your parent(s) and you called them by their first name when you were younger... yeah, that didn't fly very well. Fortunately, and unfortunately, Spaniards speak their mind, but in a rather non-condescending fashion. They are a "Take it or leave it" kind of folk. I love it.

What did I learn with this? Well, in fact, it helped me break down on huge barrier I have: the projection of shame in times of ignorance and need of help. I've always had an irrational fear of being ridiculed or laughed at when I don't know something or have to "speak up" for help. It has a lot to do with how I was brought up and the environments I was in. I don't directly blame any one person or situation, but in many cases, growing up, whether at home or in the class room, I've been looked to for information and had always been utilized for my ridiculously precise photographic memory with things like birthdays, recipes, or my pristine, intuitive ability to just "figure things out". I've always been proud of that, and have gone to great lengths to preserve that quality within me. But, after just two days of being in Spain, I've come to terms with the fact that, IT'S OKAY TO NOT KNOW THE 'ANSWER' OR NOT KNOW HOW TO FIGURE SHIT OUT. Everyone needs help sometimes, including me.

This day forward, I won't be such a stubborn fuck anymore that pretends to have an answer/solution to everything, and that if you don't speak up, people really won't know that you need help, and their lives will go on. You on the other hand, will miss out.