File it under Nuña

... As in Nuña Damn Business!

The other day, this world lost a vibrant soul, a mother, a grandmother - one of the finest persons I've had the pleasure to meet in my lifetime. Ronnie Miller, the mother of my Aunt Laura and Uncle Carl. I only met her once that I vibrantly remember when I was maybe 11 or 12 - nearly fifteen years ago. That exact date isn't relevant, but some words she told me are and always will be: "What others think of you is none of your business!"

She told me this in response to my groaning complaints of typical pre-teen angst, and the phenomenon of the "invisible audience" we create thereof.

Oddly enough, I was in class earlier this week, on Monday I think... and that quote surfaced in my thoughts very randomly, and suddenly. Without thinking, I scribbled it down on the inside pocket of my folder while I was being lectured on the Spanish Present Perfect tense.

Why is such a quote so relevant now? I've been in a different culture and element for almost 3 weeks now. No one knows who I am. I don't know anyone. The typical social cues are irrelevant - the ones I witness, and the ones I portray. I stand out like a foreigner, of course, but in some ways, I feel like I get away with not "doing as the Romans do in Rome". And quite frankly, it doesn't matter what other people think of me here. I'm in Spain, learning the language, culture, and spending money here... stimulating the economy, albeit the Euro is 1.3:1 to the US Dollar. Besides, even if I *did* know what others were thinking about me, I most certainly can't understand them.... yet! And when I can and do understand them, I will have developed and created a near new value system, and strengthened what I've already valued for years...

In the end, it doesn't matter what or who I am... as long as I'm true to myself and what I want out of life. So yeah, what others think and expect of me is none of my business. I'm on this earth to please only myself and the ones I love and care about the most.

In closing, I really wish I could express more deeply into words how happy I am with myself right now and the person I'm discovering myself to be. Three weeks ago, I was my own worst enemy. Now, I'm getting (re)acquainted with myself. I'm also realizing those who have touched my heart over the years and left fingerprints behind, too. You all know who you are, but Ronnie, I don't think you ever knew. Wherever you are, take care of yourself and rest in peace.