A Walk in the Park

Today was absolutely incredible. I'm finally over my jet lag, which means no longer waking up at 3am local time and fighting to stay awake during the day. I was still up at 6am local time today, but I think I can force myself to stay up until about midnight, and finally be all caught up.

Anyway, today started off VERY cold, but it called for sun later in the day. On Sundays, the museums are free so I decided to check those out. I went to the Queen Sofia museum and saw piles of pieces of arts from Picasso to Dalí. I challenged myself and got an audio guide in Spanish! I understood most of it, and in the end, it was a very good decision for me to do that. Each painting had it's own code, and each recording guided you through each painting very precisely. With my growing vocab, I was able to follow it and learn some new words as well! It was an exhilirating feeling to naturally pick up new words and phrases. I'm allllllmost fluent!

Later, I went to the Botanical Gardens. Oh my... it was HUGE. First thing though, I was near the entrance looking at the map and I heard a group behind me speaking English... American English! It was nice to find some people from home. It eased my homesickness significantly.

Then, once again, I parted from them and I was stuck all by myself lonesome self. For a few brief moments, I began to accept my solitude. I was just walking around, absorbing the scenary, and sitting down, here and there, to enjoy the crisp, fresh breeze. It was about 54F at this point, and turned out to be a very nice day.

Each moment I'd stop to "smell the flowers", I'd close my eyes and think to myself - why do I have to be alone at this moment, wouldn't it be better to share it with someone, some others? My non acceptance of being alone at those moments were very intense and physiologically unbearing. I'd feel my blood pressure fluctuate and my stomach acids churn. My jaw would clench, my fists too. Each time I closed my eyes, I wanted to open them, and be somewhere else... anywhere else. Anywhere else but there. I'd painfully open my eyes and reality would sink in. After doing this a few times, I realized things are what they are, and I simply have to deal with it.

While I literally stopped to smell the flowers, I've yet to learn how to do it figuratively. Life throws us curveballs all the time. It's what happens when we're busy making other plans. Then suddenly, it connected... life is simply that: a shitload of curve balls.

These curve balls don't determine what happens to you. It's your own choice to let them determine what you become. Reaction trumps any action any day. The moment I accepted this is the same moment I enjoyed that Walk in the Park.